Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Hidden Markov Model

Learn about X by observing Y
What I say to you is expressed through my eyes
My aim is true and my mission is clear 
However the catalyst is you, my dear
I go back and forth, in my power and out
I can do this myself, I can bring it about
But then I think no, I need him to create 
I sit in my garden and I contemplate 
If I am the soil and you are the sun
Then we need each other to get anything done
How else grow a flower? How else open up?
Why does there in tarot exist 2 of Cups?
Again, I don't know and ask angels to see
And if it's required, that they bring you to me

Her Majesty's Ship

Her Majesty's Ship
I was born on it
It is my birthright 
To this I hold tight
Of the British Isles 
Castle of Carlisle 
I sailed high seas
Absolute bearing
Somehow wound up docked
My anchor was dropped
I have to set sail
I must now prevail 
From druids I hale
In light I regale
Epona, begin
I triumph, I win

Monday, December 28, 2020

Earthbound

Where's my Chinese luck dragon?
Appearing in the Swamps of Sadness 
Atreyu gives up, he falls down
He can't do it on his own
I can't fix my stupid furnace
Why is God making me do this?
Sometimes I don't want to eat
I'm too tired to even sleep
I hate my job so bad
I'm so sick of being sad
Sloan says it's a spiritual war
We've had many lives before
Fighting evil for so long
It's so hard to soldier on
My head hurts, my heart too
I wish that I knew what to do
All I know is how to feel
It's all I've ever done to deal
I once played a video game
The answer in the end was pray
It was Earthbound, it was great
I truly hope that that's the case

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Moon Signs

Incredible, the things I find
Learned we look like our moon signs
Me, I am a pincher bug
I mustn't sting the ones I love
You look like a Pisces fish
In the Koi pond where I wish
Almond eyes and pretty mouth
From the north but in the south
You lead fishies in a school
All of them think you're so cool
Fascinating dynamic
What all you could do with it
You could swim to darker waters
Pass down wounding from our fathers
Or you could swim into the light
Move our fears out of the night
By no means is this easy
I'm here with you in-between
We just take it day by day
Until our moon signs show the way

Thursday, December 24, 2020

Small World

Remember Hurricane #1?
Long have I adored that song
Ad for new Volkswagen Bug
Back in what, 2001?
Google says was '98
No matter, I feel the same
He said step into his world
He said she could be his girl
It did resonate with me
Always thought it so lovely
Maybe it will come to be

Spirit Song

If I keep listening to this song
I can figure out what's wrong
I can lose myself in dance
Put myself into a trance
Speaks what spirit tells her, yes?
She makes sense of all this mess
She hears truth and makes it art
She does not betray her heart
She's creating utter bliss
I envy and admire this
It's all I ever wished to do
To thine own self, be true

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

This Dichotomy

Who did what to me?
Created this dichotomy 
What is up whose sleeve?
Goddamn it, I can't see
Neverending misery 
Unending anxiety
Where is my relief?
Help me Mother Mary, please
What was this abuse?
By who?

Achtung Baby

Achtung baby, I learned this 
Your opinion means jack shit
I don't want the life you live
And I reject advice you give
Nor did I solicit it
You're not in my skin, this soul
Clearly we have different goals
You're just some complete asshole
And you, you're not a magic witch
Truly you're a stupid bitch
Can't undo the fact that I
Sabotaged one half my life
But I can now make moves to change
From the curb to the fast lane
Speeding like that girl Lights sang
I think she's Canadian
At any rate, I'm leaving, bye
To my purpose, Semper Fi

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Majestic Chick

I am one majestic chick
Virgo Scorpio Sag witch
Although of course fun to play with
I do not require dick
I see now it's only fair
That I should rise to meet him there
I bought an Earth Magic book
On page one and I am shook
With my rhymes, I'll combine flowers
Of course these things have super powers!
With love from God and intuition 
I'll bring my dreams into fruition
Like Claire is Miss Anthropocene
I shall be Princess Colleen

My Psychology

Psychics and astrology
These are my psychology 
I use them as therapy
Sometimes listen as I sleep
It's how I learned all I know
It is how I shift and grow 
Now I see he left me there
Gazing with my heartsick stare
I used all my energy
Sitting, waiting, and wishing
He didn't come back, you see
He didn't return for me
I died there in that field
Old and gray and unfulfilled 
Brought him back here with Colleen
In my 12th house of unseen
He is but a lesson plan
I cannot control a man
I'm to make it on my own
I'm to be my only home
I'm complete all by myself
I create my life and wealth
Painful yes, okay, oh well
It's how I ascend from Hell

Please

Can you come here and rescue me?
Or we can meet halfway with ease
It is obscene what I'm doing
My work's enforcing a vaccine 
Let us fly to Waikiki
Saint Lucia, Tahiti
Catio for Yo and Squeaks
I went and I got my I.D.!
We can go by land or sea
I know that you see what can be
I just need you to speak to me
I'm running out of time, I think
It's coming down to swim or sink
I'm Navi, you're my missing link
Cinderella, Prince Charming
Maid Marian and Prince of Thieves 
Miss Beyonce and Jay-Z
Loner Dottie and Pee-wee
Mario and Princess Peach
Cleopatra, Antony 
Blue Tara and green Gumby
Shel Silverstein's The Missing Piece
John and Yoko, world peace
Fuckin Adam! Freaking Eve
Please

Monday, December 21, 2020

Natal Chart

I wish I had your natal chart
Confirm what I feel in my heart
I wonder your ascending sign
And if it's complimenting mine
Which sign is your Venus in?
Do you have yods that are destined?
What planets in your 7th house?
Of business partnerships and spouse
Mine is just in Gemini
Perhaps it's me, myself, and I
But then I am Venusian 
With all that Libra stellium
And what is in your 8th house next?
Of hidden things and death and sex
Left sensing with my Scorpio
Pisces drowning what is so

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Music Box

Life is but a music box
What is it that will unlock?
Keep on looking for the key
It's so dark I cannot see
Searching for the light and air
Certainly don't have it there 
Bloom where you are planted, sure
What of soil that can't nurture?
They blocked rays with parasols
No not me, I want it all
El condor pasa, wave to it
To the sky these eyes do lift
Fledgling flying toward the sun
Baby I was Born to Run

Friday, December 18, 2020

Last Life Here

I am so concerned 'cause I
Will not redo junior high
Can't convey how bad it sucked
There's no way in fucking fuck
I will not be squashed again
Spend a life away hidden
Sun square my ascendant, eh?
Still recovering to this day
Praying that it turns around
Trying to reach higher ground
Dancing in my living room 
To empowering Zeppelin tunes
Should I seek community?
I am a loner, Dottie
I have got to do what's right
Wake each day and fight the fight
Uncover and confront each fear
'Cause this is def my last life here

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Two of Hearts

Disney princess energy
Music dancer synergy 
Some enchanted fairytale 
Maui with Moana sails
They cut off Rapunzel's hair
Still it didn't keep her there
Eventually Aurora woke 
To her prince Ariel spoke 
Poison didn't stop Snow White
Her partner came and made it right
Spinning arrow led to John
Pocahontas can't go wrong
Nino followed Amelie 
Ohana it means family 
These girls have power within
But there's a yang to every yin

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Midheaven

Angels and obsidian 
Divinity and protection 
Life path four with your seven
Virgo on my midheaven
Can I offer you a deal?
This is something that will heal
I can play the roll of doll
Mannequin alive in mall
Muse to your Pygmalion
Camouflaged chameleon 
Beautiful but wielding power
Sugar can be sweet or sour
Both stoic and temperamental 
Symbiotic, beneficial 

Monday, December 14, 2020

Fire Butterfly

Butterfly with fire wings
Warrior that's nurturing 
Gentle like a woodland deer
Venus is exalted here
Lovely like a painted fern
Lucky but it's all been earned
Plucking beauty from the clouds
Sharing with adoring crowds
Offering Earth medicine
But with heart is reticent 
Material concerns are real
They will follow what we feel

Sunday, December 13, 2020

Fire Water Burn

The Moon and Planet Venus
These asteroids between us
The Sun and Planet Mars
The changing of the guards 
If Jupiter expands
And Gods of War demand
I call on Mercury
Where we can both receive 
Communicate with words
Through poems, and songs, and birds
Blown closer by monsoon
Swim towards you on Neptune 
Accept a ride from Saturn
And kiss goodbye old patterns 
Let Pluto reinvent us
And meet up on Uranus

Saturday, December 12, 2020

With You

Water moves rock slowly
Needn't always break it boldly 
Kali works in deconstruction 
Volcanoes speak through their eruptions
Ocean tides move by our moon
End the end, Sam is with Joon
Te of Piglet, Tao of Pooh
I know I will be with you
(Because we have things to do)

Thursday, December 10, 2020

Parts of a Whole

Sky full of birds
Millions of words
Infinite methods with which to be heard
Pen to a paper
Water to vapor
Creative Director of Sterling Don Draper
Leis made of flowers
Minutes in hours
Major League Baseball and Kenny Powers
Ballet and tulle
Rockets and fuel
Snoopy's the Masked Marvel and he's Joe Cool
Bridges with tolls
Rhythms that lull
These are the parts of the things that are whole

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Acoustic and Electrical

Acoustic and electrical 
Romantic and sexual
Spelunker and skydiver
Kylo Ren and Skywalker
If we combine all shades of light
A rainbow is created, right?
Nothing here to dodge or fear
Just a seeker and his seer

Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Six of Cups

My Six of Cups
I miss you much
My childhood friend
My past life twin
My fellow crystal alien
Our treehouse dreams
On playground swings
And dangling from the monkey rings
The ferris wheel
I'll meet you there
I'll find you always anywhere
Amusement park
Kiss in the dark
Inspired to
Required to do
Whatever that will lead to you

Monday, December 7, 2020

A Thousand Leaves

They only took from me
I never did receive 
All I have done is grieve 
And now I overreach 
For wanting to believe 
That they'll see what I see
I watch a thousand leaves
Detach and drift from trees
If they can turn and fall
Then grow back after all
I'll too change and stand tall

Saturday, December 5, 2020

Navigate the Stars

A difficult relationship 
A brutal planetary transit
Pluto conjunt Capricorn
To strip us down unto the bone
There is just no going back
I will not rescind things said
If I am mutable and you are fixed
I will not continue this
I am flexible and choose to grow
You are concerned only with old
You will navigate the stars with me
Or from my chart you are released 

Thursday, December 3, 2020

Princess of Swords

Princess of Swords
Of this you are warned
I came to discern 
To apply what I've learned
What no longer serves
What is not deserved
Doubt me, I wouldn't 
Don't do it, you shouldn't 
You match me or go
You impede or you grow
It is or it isn't 
Try me, good riddance

So Uranian

Warning, warning, don't unlock
Danger of electric shock
Woops there go the lights again
We are so Uranian
Rearranging energy
Getting freaky in 5D 
Harness electricity 
Channeled in a dance with me
So high voltage, I don't care
Our hair standing up in air
My jellyfish, electric eel
This is how it's supposed to feel

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

I Have

I have Earth and animals
They are here and tangible 
Although human beings are liars 
I have wind and I have fire
I have water, I have ocean
I am fluid in emotion
I have trees against my back
I have stars in my knapsack 
I have angels on my side
I have ancestors as guides
I must not forget this feeling
I have value, I have meaning 

Monday, November 30, 2020

Codependent Alien

Codependent alien
Here I am on Earth again
Crying on linoleum
What am I to do with him?
I do not have any friends
Disconnected from my kin
Living in oblivion
Writing words and clicking send
What must I learn to transcend?
On what does happiness depend?
I just want this pain to end

Saturday, November 28, 2020

Honey Dune

Honey bee
Honey dew
Honey moon 
Honey you
Set me free
Let me be
Who I am
Where I stand
Don't feel down
Wear your crown
See you soon
Like in Dune

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Anxious v. Avoidant

I am anxious, you're avoidant 
Neither of us want controlling 
But you cannot block emotion 
No it's not my magic potion
Was it you that cut my head off?
That does indicate a jerk off
I'm sure I was a bitch also
So now back and forth we waffle
Pushing, pulling, touching wounds
Cycling phases with the moon
Readjusting my tiara
We will try again tomorrow 

Divine Sign

Childlike Empress
Mario's Princess
Isis goddess
Feather headdress 
Celtic druid
Ancient ruin
Welsh enchantress 
Praying mantis
Reinvention
Soul ascension 
Pluto, power
Fool from Tower
Lunar lover
Run for cover
Soldier, warrior
Dark destroyer
Climbing, reaching
Learning, teaching

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Dear God

Please allow me to connect 
From the darkness do protect
I will promise to accept
Repay and balance karmic debt
With what you've given me to deal
I am trying so hard to heal
But can you answer me this night...
Is it real or am I high?
Am I a deludinoid?
Looking out into the void
Is there an M. Night Shyamalan twist?
Or does this thing just not exist?
Help me, show me, open my eyes
To see if this is love or lies

Monday, November 16, 2020

Mom Trauma

Your Queen of Wands is upside down
Cloaking, hiding, fooling round
I surrender, I retire
You're not bringing what's required 
Feeling so 'Bitch, I'm Madonna'
Deal with all your damn mom trauma 
Giving it to our creator
Back to Earth on escalator
Cannot focus on what isn't 
Must be grateful and be present 
Like He-Man said, 'I have the power'
Besides, you won't escape The Tower

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Only in Ethereal

Only in ethereal
Never the mundane
Not in the material
On another plane
Fairy door to crystal cave
Time turns in reverse
I receive the love I gave
Coda to this curse

Friday, October 30, 2020

Free

In that moment
The wind was a friend
It said start again
And to take action
A place to begin
Went to DMV
For flying I.D.
It won't come to me
I must do and be
Unchained melody
Free, free, free

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

My Pleiadian

At night I swim to lure you in
Calling to my Pleiadian
My earthbound ocean alien
Cancer, Pisces, Scorpion
You leave your bed at 2:00 AM
'Cause you dreamt of my mermaid fin
I sent for you, I'm a siren
I wait for you beneath the depths
And come ashore to catch my breath
I watch you stand there in the tides
So haunted, spellbound, mesmerized 
The key is just to come to me
And consummate our love at sea

Sunday, October 25, 2020

Let's

I think you're so cute
Insufferably mute
You look good with kids
And probably in knits
I love your long hair
And pieces of flair
I don't like shoes either
Not sandals, nor sneakers
Take these clothes off too
Let's us rendezvous
Your hands on my hips
Come on let's do this
Make out by your car
Bang under the stars

Saturday, October 24, 2020

Thuban

When you look at me
What does your soul see?
What does your mind think?
And do you then drink?
You'd teach me to build
And I, you to heal
Show me all your ways
I promise I'll stay
I'll harness my force
You'll honor your source
I'll help you write lyrics
You'll take me to Egypt
We'll sprawl in the sands
And join our hands
Our bodies, our work
We transcend this curse
Collab and combine
Enmeshed and entwined
To give, to receive
To empower, achieve
A new legacy
Just have faith, believe

Thursday, October 22, 2020

Neptunian

I cannot see
What's wrong with me
Have Neptune in my First
I feel through you
And what you do
My sense of self's reversed
I open crown 
And write it down
But don't know where it's from
I cannot ground
Spin round and round
And struggle with my Sun
Mars in my 8th
This hidden pain 
Colors my every move
I try to change
To rearrange 
To transform and transmute
Look up and see
What I could be
But it's out of my reach
I want it bad
This life I have
Is not enough for me

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Cosmic College

Creating from heartspace
Move at divine pace
Acting in God's grace
Repping human race
Unique as I can be
You've never seen me
In 2020
Channeling knowledge
From cosmic college
Relaying it to you
In some way brand new
Learning from you too
It's just how we do

Sunday, October 18, 2020

Star-Crossed but Land-Locked

Star-crossed but land-locked
In love but cock-blocked
Grounded but out there
Business with blue hair
Conflict and chaos
Blindfolded, so lost
Trust falls from spaceships
Unite us like magnets
Strength with compassion
Reflection, reaction
Our eyes are mirroring
Ascension and healing
Hephaestus from embers
Silvanus from timber
Persistence and patience
Build strength and foundation
Construction and detours
When I'm done, I'll be yours

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Go Fish

I want what's right for you
For girl and baby too
As long as you don't drink
So not to feel and think
We're here to feed our souls
To learn and change and grow
Fulfill our highest good
For God and peoplehood 
To share our given gifts
Stop wishing and go fish
Express our divine truths
From crown down through our roots
I'll always have your back
Rise up and walk your path

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Despite

Hear but don't see
Look but don't lead
Feel but deny
Know but still lie
Solar says this
Heart confirms it
Throat does not say
What won't go away
Imagining things
That are real in dreams
Not here in 3D
But limitless, free
Love uncontained
No illusory pain
Connected, unsevered
Despite our best efforts

Sunday, October 11, 2020

Things with Wings

Butterflies and nightingales
Dragonflies and archangels
Kookaburras, mockingbirds
Messengers of all God's words
The Crow, The Phoenix, Pegasus
What wisdom they impart to us
Snowy owls and mourning doves
Bumblebees and lightning bugs
Of the heavens, in the skies
Descending down to you and I
Fae and pixies, sylphs of air
Give us wonder, have us dare
Things with wings that rise above
Teach us freedom, courage, love

Monday, October 5, 2020

Teacher and a Student Of

Grandma is a butterfly
Counterpart a dragonfly
Cats, angels, and aliens
Birds are my departed friends
Signs and symbols do I see
Down here in 'reality'
How do I turn dreams to things?
10th House Saturnistic rings
Translate them on planet Earth
To Capricornic themes of worth
Will God grant me the patience...
To build up wealth and affluence?
I see it in my natal chart
Feel it in my heart of hearts
Watch a ballerina dance
Then know through claircognizance
I'm to heal with palm chakras
Both teacher and a student of
The ground, the stars, the air, the sea
Of you, of us, of them, of we

Monday, September 7, 2020

Space Royalty

I don't date
Can't understand 
Why do that with
Some random man?
If you can't tell
We're meant to be
Thank you, next
Get away from me 
I know you well
From other lives
From ancient times 
And other sides
Different planets
Galaxies
We're aliens
And starseeds
Heal the world
A better place
Like Bono and 
Like whatshisface
No new karma
No way, no thanks 
Connecting dots
In outer space
This princess seeks
Her royalty 
Come reunite
And rule with me

Friday, August 21, 2020

Suicidal Bath Water

Kitty cat
Don't play in that
It's suicidal bath water 
If only it
Absorbed this shit
I would have come out cleaner 
Forgive me I
Can't see the sky
If God is sending something 
I cannot hear 
Nor think too clear
It's just what's perfunctory 
Move mouth to eat
To swallow drink
Use legs to walk to bed with
Lay down and I
Hope that I'll die
Then this won't all start over

Thursday, August 20, 2020

I'm Sorry

I woke wanting to say to you
Thank you for what we journeyed through
Release you energetically
From heart by pen, poetically 
I know I warned you way back when
As I'm required with each of them
That I would write about you to the world
It's just how I communicate
For lack of something intimate
Was cross-watching Aquarius
She said that I'm the piece of shit
That's not how I intended it
I have a Libra stellium
Translates to bipolar problem
Often think myself a victim
I wish for happiness for you
For peace and serenity too
You'll share that laugh and smile with one
Who's kind to you and to your son
I'll cut this cord and set you free
For we could just not make us be
But please, look at our time fondly
I will too

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Ash Dance

I walk up to the corner market
Because I won't wear masks in Target
This white ash drifting all around
Is somewhat Edward Scissorhands
If Danny Elfman scored for me
How beautiful my life would be
I put my arms up like Ms. Ryder
Before I go and buy a lighter
Imagine this was Burton's world
If only I was Johnny's girl
But then again he couldn't hold her
Saddest end to movie ever

Synastry or Not

Push reset, recalibrate
Create from different colored space
See from separate point of view
Embark on journey without you
I simply do not have the time
To wait for masculine divine
Could get hit by a bus and die
Before he decides to come by
Fool card says take leap of faith
Does not say stay and stagnate
Fuck these 10 swords in my back
My rep as a huge sadsack
Manic depression, up and down
Back and forth and round and round
Motivated, fueled, inspired
Just as quickly hopeless, tired
I'll take my 2 cats to the ocean
Put these blueprints into motion
Leave behind me civil service
I have no choice now but to do this
Outside influence made me sick
Like learning my relationships
Were methods of control and punishment
Do not give me your opinions
Satan's serpents, helpers, minions
Turned your back on our synastry
None the less, I write my history

Leo Season

Today feels Armageddon-like
Ashes coat my car and bike
Smoke smell settles in my hair
Hazy orange colors the air
Flames jumping the freeways fast
Dead discolored yellow grass
Who set fire to planet Earth?
I thought I would get there first

Meh

I don't care who thinks I'm pretty
Smart, creative, funny, witty
Every night I fall asleep
Asking God to come get me
Look out my window wondering
Where I'm from, why did I leave
A host here for parasites 
Steal my essence, drain my life
Broken incandescent light
Doing just what others like
Sitting down and signing in
Report for duty, "no symptoms"
First half of Wizard of Oz
Missing meaning, purposes, cause
No insulation, exposed wiring
Forever pissed off, sad and crying 
Born this way and tired of trying 

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Mostly Dead Musicians

Trent Reznor's head is like a hole
Layne Staley was down in one
Her name tattoos Jon Crosby's soul
Instant karma got John Lennon
Did Elliott really stab himself?
Did Kurt put that gun in his mouth?
I digress, this is not where I was going
I wonder, do you speculate
Compose, arrange, and dedicate
Lyrics and music to our memory
Is it true you never did love me?
This was all malefic shittery
You approached me just to put me in my place
Pay me back for previous wrongs
Lure me in with pretty songs
Place me in a box and throw away the key
How incredibly depressing
To think it was karmic lessons
Remember when you played All I Want?
I wanted that for us too
Was I mistaken thinking you
Were pure of heart, of mind, of soul
That we'd help each other grow
I guess so
Because now I walk the line alone

4th House Pisces

Why the hell did I eat that? 
It's just going to make me fat
Solar, sacral, or root trauma?
4th house Pisces substance drama?
I kicked my vodka addictions
Dabbled in the 12 traditions
Step aerobics every morning
Meditation shortly following
Set intentions at moon circles
Swear I'll conquer all these hurdles
Eschewed toxicity in men
Curbed compulsive spending, then
Replaced orange Fanta with water
Still with cheese and bread I falter
Pin bikinis in Ibiza
Yet next day I order pizza
I don't like this constant battle
Of with which I have been saddled
Asking who in Heaven listens 
Please assist with this affliction

Yo & Squeakers

I love you, Yo and Squeakers
You're my valentines with fuzz
You're the Junos to my Bleeker
Sherrif Woodys to my Buzz
Eat a metric ton of Meow Mix
Linger in the pan too much
And a little masochistic
When you're playing, but best buds
So absorbent when I'm crying
Always listen as I bitch
Aid with tarot cards and scrying
The familiars to my witch
We go back to ancient Egypt 
Keepers of the underworld
Mummies now in pharaoh's crypt
Today just pets and girl
You both protect me spiritually
Like a gargoyle on each side
Many thank yous for accompanying me
In every earthly life

Monday, August 17, 2020

Otherwordly Hello

Psychic dispatch operatress
Astral plane tiki bar waitress
Like Jupiter sent lightning down
Echo distracted Zeus with sound
An esoteric carrier pigeon
Supernatural slide in DM
Pegasus Pony Express
Loch Ness Monster UPS
Heart Shaped Box to radio
It's all I can do, Candy-o

Luciferian Summer

"That's cute that you're contributing,"
My neighbor to her boyfriend screams
The clink of an engagement ring hits porch
We're all on edge, it's so damn hot
One hundred plus all month of Aug
Our sun feels like an enemy sometimes
I stop the watering of lawn
It doesn't care, it's too far gone
Some days I don't think that I'm long behind
I go back in and take caffeine
So fucking sick of quarantine
A misnomer on purpose, we're not sick
These masks are Luciferian
The gov, Authoritarian
I just want in a grocery store for fruit
6 feet saps our humanity
Blocks energy and sanity
Come on, they banned singing in a church
They can't stop us from worshipping
From creating and flourishing
Nor can they remove love from our vocab
We're human beings
Soft squishy things
We're guided by the Godhead up above
So take our festivals and shows
Take restaurants and shops for clothes
Take our bodies, but you cannot have our souls

Sunday, August 16, 2020

Heavily Edited

Heavily edited
Withdraw, retract, reverse
Infinitely debited
Conceal, redact, submerge
I chose to shut my chakras down
When the world went on offense
My smile became a perma-frown
In efforts at defense
I'm trying to let the light in now
I've been down so Goddamn long
I wish for you to show me how
I want to sing my song
I'm filling up a holey bucket
I'm tanning in the dark
I'm sleeping 'neath a wet blanket
I'm gunning it in park
I only speak now psychically
We conversate in dreams
Connecting telepathically
If our guides do deem
A muted Sagittarius
attempting to make fire
A bound and caged Aquarius
A Scorpio in mire
Please help me untie these knots
Remove these swords from me
Convert from bad to good these thoughts
Happy ever afterly

Remedial at Vegetables

Remedial at vegetables
Unfit to clean a house
Completely undomestical
I just don't know what to do with myself
There's only brush across the street
The occasional freight train
No one sees me dancing gothically
Through my dirty window pane
Trevor Something, something
He's my digital husband
We make vaporwave in his basement
Or so that's what I pretend
Doordashing Wienerschnitzel
The driver refers to me as dude
I wish I hadn't tipped his ass
That's hella fucking rude
This poem is not too thematic
I guess I apologize
Just feeling somewhat chromatic
Merely a day in the life
Now the sun descends again
What have I done this day?
Play make-believe and dwell within
My world's in retrograde

Saturday, August 15, 2020

Cognitive Astrology

Sedated cow or psychosis
Insomnia v. hypnosis
Weep at work or sleep by 8:00
Medicate or stay awake
Who told me I shouldn't feel?
At what point did I cease to deal?
So some boyfriend went away
No one said that he would stay
Okay so I am OCD
Obsess, compulse, redo, repeat
The answer's not in Lexapro
Or so the last decade has shown
Perhaps I'm just from Mercury
This is all astrology
Stars and spirituality
Neptune skews reality
A misaligned chakra or 7
A torn aura open to Heaven
I'll patch it up with prayer and seeking
Searching, learning, hoping, dreaming
Paint new skies upon my ceiling
Write down words which lead to healing
Wake each morn and face the music
I have faith that I won't lose it

Thursday, August 13, 2020

Patrick & Courtney

Patrick is Piscerian
Courtney, a Cancer
Brother sister water signs
Generation Z undines
Electric fish illuminates
With lightning he communicates
Snow crab safe on nearby shores
Pinching, snapping, evermore
Neptune's trident stirring storms
Arrive at beach in Luna's arms
Waves dissolving in the sand
Sea creatures wash up on land
Though they've shed their scales and claws
The life aquatic sometimes calls
Walking Earth with briny powers
Taking 90 minute showers
Dreamy, tidal, sentimental
Atlanteans turned occidental
Ocean sprites now elementals
Terrestrials: please do be gentle

Uranus Trine Mars

A magician, a technician
'cause Uranus trines my Mars
A musician, a physician
of keyboards and of guitars
Wielding power, taking action
Manifesting from the stars
Wire, cable, periodic table
Plutonium, electric cars
Sparking, shocking, I'm unlocking
Who you are and what you do
I don't practice Santeria
Not to worry, no voodoo
Moving, touring, you're exploring
Corners of this universe
Mixing metals, pressing pedals
Creating rhythm, writing verse
I'm not patient, but persistent
Plugging in and turning on
Flipping switches, changing fuses
Casting light on what went wrong

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Satan and Bad Aliens

Satan and bad aliens
Ruling Earth with iron fists
So annoying, life destroying
Why did I sign up for this?
Spiritual warfare, maybe
How it makes me miss the 80's 
What I wouldn't give
to be 0 through 9 again
Cabbage Patch Kids, Teddy Ruxpins
Popples, GloWorms and Van Halen
Mr. Rogers, Cyndi Lauper
This is Thriller, Get to the choppa!
Suppose evil was there too
in George Bush Sr. and crew
We live in a world we did not make
Nothing new under the sun
Until they take away our guns
Sew our mouths shut, Handmaid's Tale
Six feet under, see through the veil?
It's thinning out, you only have to look
Raise up your head, open your eyes
Tune your antennae to the skies
Ask for courage, ask for strength
Pray for knowledge, then give thanks
Take off your pants and jacket
Take your protein pills and helmet
Get up, stand up, for your rights
We can do this, we can take 'em
We're God's children, not forsaken

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Grand Trine

Gorgeous soul in your expression
From inception through the womb 
Always honoring your fire sun 
Swimming with your water moon
What you speak is what you're thinking
What you do is what you want 
No perversion, no diversion 
Nothing underneath to haunt
Conceive and then construct things
Erect each vision one by one 
Music, lovers, Saturn's rings
Your work here is never done 
Ascend and heal and radiate 
From a spark, a thousand songs 
Smile and shift and cocreate 
You will right a million wrongs 
Your lasso circles all around 
It has caught me in your spell 
I know I'm not the only one 
And so it's just as well 
I watch you from the sidelines
In the thicket and the thorns
As you effortlessly easily 
Take this life by storm 
It's okay, I'm catching up 
I have a lot to learn
but I've left a light on for us 
Here within my heart, it burns

River Park

Toyota Camrys 
Full of families 
Driving down my street
Dads and toddlers
Moms and daughters
Walking by each eve
Pregnant ladies
Dogs and babies
Tricycles, grade school
Babysitting, blanket-knitting
Birthday parties by the pool
Me, I'm single
Eating Pringles
Watering my lawn
Nodding, smiling
All the while I
Wish I could play along
I should not covet
My life, I love it
Right? I ask myself
2 kitties, candles
Sundresses, sandals 
And yes, I have my health

Thursday, August 6, 2020

Scorpion

You nasty fucking scorpion
You wicked fucking witch
Why the hell did you get married?
Why the fuck did you have kids?
You're mean, you sting, you've hidden things
You chose not to protect
To this day, you deny everything
to every single life you've wrecked
I wake up nights and hate you
because I cannot take control
You have burrowed in my psyche
You have warped my fucking soul
No prayer, nor pill, nor therapy
has done me any good 
I've accepted responsibility 
as best I fucking could
And yet here I am at 38 
awake at 2:00 AM
by a nightmare situation
playing out without an end
Fuck you and your abandonment 
Fuck you and your judgement
Fuck me and my decision
to perpetuate this long descent 
Worthless, wasted, languishing 
On autopilot at this point
Only counting down the hours
til I get to blow this joint
By this joint, I mean this planet 
on which I've failed to ascend
I never want to come back down here
Least of all with you again

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Blue Jay

Blue Jay in the sky, on a wire, standing by
Were you sent here by a guy - 
remotely viewing through your eyes?
What is it that he has to say?
What is this missive you convey?
Were you sent from outer space?
Represent a martian race?
From the shores of Waikiki?
Do you have a lei for me?
Paris, France, bonjour, oui oui
Kawaii, Japan, Hello Kitty
Now we meet in this backyard
Virgos sent here from the stars
Gazing up and looking down
Message greeted with a frown
Understand you, I do not
Now it's hot and I'm distraught
Close my journal, pack it up
Back to day job, back to rut
Drop a feather as you go
I put it to my lips and blow
Close my eyes and make a wish
When you return, you take me with

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Jupiter

I was meant to have a daughter
She would be called Jupiter
But the sun's rescinding farther
And as it goes, its taking her
I still see her in the ether
And I hear her in the breeze
I can feel her in my heartspace
But in this life, I'm on my knees
I cry out to her, "I'm sorry,"
Apologize a thousand times
I am catatonic, paralyzed
Bereft of all but rhymes
I cannot move to make her
Cannot bring her to this sphere
Cannot rise to meet her father
Cannot seem to make him hear 
I pray to God each evening
From the shower, then my bed
Please release me from this movie
Looping always in my head
A Disney princess ending
Do I see inside my dreams
Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella
Amy Adams with Dempsey
Spanish Castle Magic
We dwell high up in the sky
We come down to visit mortals
Jupiter, and you, and I
I know that I agreed to this
I just need strength to see
All I drew up in the heavens...
Can you help me make it be?

Saturday, August 1, 2020

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, alchemist
Electric body lyricist 
Leo sun with Pisces moon
Fire starter, lover's swoon
Majestic mane and lion's roar
Storyteller, ancient lore
Healer of the earth and soil
Tied to you by mortal coil
From the stars and winding down
Promise that I'm coming round
Spirit speaking through a smile
Remember though it's been a while
Tones of home and love with child
Imagination running wild
Making music, writing song 
Singing, strumming, hum along
Through grace of God, by walk of life
Courting, wedding, husband/wife

Monday, July 27, 2020

Electronic Waste

Ashamed in advance 
For what I might do
To gain your affection
For you to approve
You're chatting with me
And I'm falling in love
I feel a connection
You're sent from above
But that's not the case
It isn't the truth
You're here to exploit me
I'm here to be used
I see the blue ring
Of my webcam light up
I tell you hello
But you say hurry up
Say that you love me
Say that we'll meet
Say that you'll drive here
Or buy a plane seat 
Your wife's in the next room
Your kids are asleep
I feel like a whore
And you're just a creep
I'm electronic waste
Hard drive can't be found
Press escape to restart
But I just spin around
I'm only an android
About to expire
Like tears in the rain
Like flames in a fire
A 404 error
I'm seized by the Feds
I'm discolored and rusted
And laced with cobwebs
But one day you find me
And you dust me off
And you go to kiss me
And feel such a shock
Because I have a heartbeat
And I am not dead
A current runs through me
Despite what I said
Because I am a human
A real live girl
And since you can't see this
You must leave my world

Saturday, July 25, 2020

North Node

Multifacet, glittering
Lacerations and lightning
Muddy water, lotus flower
Muted, waning, rebirth, power
North Node Cancer, turning point
Fire sign rising, crown, anoint
Sun, High Priestess, Empress card
Lioness and lionheart
Isis goddess, Egyptian
Sekhmet warrior, prediction
10 of Cups with Sun and Moon
Growing, healing, family soon

Libra Stellium

Sad dejected, alien
Phosphorescent, born again
Sunglight sitting, only friend
Moods change colors with the wind
Endless nameless, fantasy
Rabbit, top hat, call to me
Weighted down and then set free
Reoccur, repeatedly
Fire and wonder, hope in heart
Collapsing scaffold, aborted start
Forward, backward, light to dark
3rd gear, 2nd, neutral, park

Midsummer

Peonies, plumeria, gardenias, floral
Seaweed, crustacean, siren on coral
Sunrise and sunset, and campfire burning
Mountain top, forest floor, volcano churning
Hummingbird, bumblebee, dragonfly, feather
Asteroid, shooting star, nebulae, weather
Helios, Eros, Persephone, Rhea
Lono and Laka, Kapo and Haumea
Good morning, good fortune, good luck, and good lovin
See you on the astral plane until I hear something

7 Chakras

Purple thistle, fairy hatch
Lady bug and pumpkin patch
Lilith waiting, listening
Hovering and wish granting
Planting seedlings underneath
A promise I intend to keep
Across the stars, around this earth
Within the breeze and in the hearth
See with third eye, know through crown
Speak with throat to bring you round
Solar, sacral, root, and heart
Together, be it far apart

Major Arcana

In my dreams, you come to me
You say hello, then sing so sweet
Your are eyes are ethereal, sparkling
Your smile like sunshine, welcoming
Your heart sings too, it burns so bright
You shine and shimmer in your light
Emperor and his empress
Strength and Star and Temperance
I ask my angels to come through
And put me on the path toward you

Cocreate

Free in water and on land
Free on grass and in the sand
Express, explore, experiment
Create, combine, and compliment
So beautiful in skin and soul
So magical, please help me grow
...Say hello

Ode to Oleg

Working on self improvement
But it's boring as feck
Sitting on my porch
Wondering what in the heck
How do I meet men?
How would I meet women?
How can I meet anyone?
Alien or human
I opened up Tinder
And accidentally swiped right
On about 10K douches
Oh damn it, oh shite
Wearing 10 gallon hats
And listening to new country
Sending me hearts
And asking me to lunchy
My eyes roll to the heavens
I hit uninstall
I remember my first date
At the old Birdcage Mall
He was Andrew Olson
He wore a black coat
He was likely on that list
Of Columbine folk
Then I started thinking
Of all of the others
My internet boyfriends
And IRL lovers
Oleg was from Livejournal
He chose Jovana though
Now she and I are friends
And agree he is an ohole
There was Matt from Toronto
Andy from MN
The cokehead from goth club
Oh so many men
Yes I've traveled the globe
And mobbed across country
On buses and trains
On planes and via donkey
Perhaps they were lessons
For which I could be grateful
No need to be hostile
Or bitter or hateful
Now I've learned love does not
Come from dudes or from gambling
Or shopping or drinking
Or online webcamming
I'm still working it out
I'm still finding my way
But I'm starting to think
that I have things to convey
I'll start out by sharing
With my friends on Facebook
And then when I'm ready
I'll be writing my book