Friday, August 21, 2020

Suicidal Bath Water

Kitty cat
Don't play in that
It's suicidal bath water 
If only it
Absorbed this shit
I would have come out cleaner 
Forgive me I
Can't see the sky
If God is sending something 
I cannot hear 
Nor think too clear
It's just what's perfunctory 
Move mouth to eat
To swallow drink
Use legs to walk to bed with
Lay down and I
Hope that I'll die
Then this won't all start over

Thursday, August 20, 2020

I'm Sorry

I woke wanting to say to you
Thank you for what we journeyed through
Release you energetically
From heart by pen, poetically 
I know I warned you way back when
As I'm required with each of them
That I would write about you to the world
It's just how I communicate
For lack of something intimate
Was cross-watching Aquarius
She said that I'm the piece of shit
That's not how I intended it
I have a Libra stellium
Translates to bipolar problem
Often think myself a victim
I wish for happiness for you
For peace and serenity too
You'll share that laugh and smile with one
Who's kind to you and to your son
I'll cut this cord and set you free
For we could just not make us be
But please, look at our time fondly
I will too

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Ash Dance

I walk up to the corner market
Because I won't wear masks in Target
This white ash drifting all around
Is somewhat Edward Scissorhands
If Danny Elfman scored for me
How beautiful my life would be
I put my arms up like Ms. Ryder
Before I go and buy a lighter
Imagine this was Burton's world
If only I was Johnny's girl
But then again he couldn't hold her
Saddest end to movie ever

Synastry or Not

Push reset, recalibrate
Create from different colored space
See from separate point of view
Embark on journey without you
I simply do not have the time
To wait for masculine divine
Could get hit by a bus and die
Before he decides to come by
Fool card says take leap of faith
Does not say stay and stagnate
Fuck these 10 swords in my back
My rep as a huge sadsack
Manic depression, up and down
Back and forth and round and round
Motivated, fueled, inspired
Just as quickly hopeless, tired
I'll take my 2 cats to the ocean
Put these blueprints into motion
Leave behind me civil service
I have no choice now but to do this
Outside influence made me sick
Like learning my relationships
Were methods of control and punishment
Do not give me your opinions
Satan's serpents, helpers, minions
Turned your back on our synastry
None the less, I write my history

Leo Season

Today feels Armageddon-like
Ashes coat my car and bike
Smoke smell settles in my hair
Hazy orange colors the air
Flames jumping the freeways fast
Dead discolored yellow grass
Who set fire to planet Earth?
I thought I would get there first

Meh

I don't care who thinks I'm pretty
Smart, creative, funny, witty
Every night I fall asleep
Asking God to come get me
Look out my window wondering
Where I'm from, why did I leave
A host here for parasites 
Steal my essence, drain my life
Broken incandescent light
Doing just what others like
Sitting down and signing in
Report for duty, "no symptoms"
First half of Wizard of Oz
Missing meaning, purposes, cause
No insulation, exposed wiring
Forever pissed off, sad and crying 
Born this way and tired of trying 

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Mostly Dead Musicians

Trent Reznor's head is like a hole
Layne Staley was down in one
Her name tattoos Jon Crosby's soul
Instant karma got John Lennon
Did Elliott really stab himself?
Did Kurt put that gun in his mouth?
I digress, this is not where I was going
I wonder, do you speculate
Compose, arrange, and dedicate
Lyrics and music to our memory
Is it true you never did love me?
This was all malefic shittery
You approached me just to put me in my place
Pay me back for previous wrongs
Lure me in with pretty songs
Place me in a box and throw away the key
How incredibly depressing
To think it was karmic lessons
Remember when you played All I Want?
I wanted that for us too
Was I mistaken thinking you
Were pure of heart, of mind, of soul
That we'd help each other grow
I guess so
Because now I walk the line alone

4th House Pisces

Why the hell did I eat that? 
It's just going to make me fat
Solar, sacral, or root trauma?
4th house Pisces substance drama?
I kicked my vodka addictions
Dabbled in the 12 traditions
Step aerobics every morning
Meditation shortly following
Set intentions at moon circles
Swear I'll conquer all these hurdles
Eschewed toxicity in men
Curbed compulsive spending, then
Replaced orange Fanta with water
Still with cheese and bread I falter
Pin bikinis in Ibiza
Yet next day I order pizza
I don't like this constant battle
Of with which I have been saddled
Asking who in Heaven listens 
Please assist with this affliction

Yo & Squeakers

I love you, Yo and Squeakers
You're my valentines with fuzz
You're the Junos to my Bleeker
Sherrif Woodys to my Buzz
Eat a metric ton of Meow Mix
Linger in the pan too much
And a little masochistic
When you're playing, but best buds
So absorbent when I'm crying
Always listen as I bitch
Aid with tarot cards and scrying
The familiars to my witch
We go back to ancient Egypt 
Keepers of the underworld
Mummies now in pharaoh's crypt
Today just pets and girl
You both protect me spiritually
Like a gargoyle on each side
Many thank yous for accompanying me
In every earthly life

Monday, August 17, 2020

Otherwordly Hello

Psychic dispatch operatress
Astral plane tiki bar waitress
Like Jupiter sent lightning down
Echo distracted Zeus with sound
An esoteric carrier pigeon
Supernatural slide in DM
Pegasus Pony Express
Loch Ness Monster UPS
Heart Shaped Box to radio
It's all I can do, Candy-o

Luciferian Summer

"That's cute that you're contributing,"
My neighbor to her boyfriend screams
The clink of an engagement ring hits porch
We're all on edge, it's so damn hot
One hundred plus all month of Aug
Our sun feels like an enemy sometimes
I stop the watering of lawn
It doesn't care, it's too far gone
Some days I don't think that I'm long behind
I go back in and take caffeine
So fucking sick of quarantine
A misnomer on purpose, we're not sick
These masks are Luciferian
The gov, Authoritarian
I just want in a grocery store for fruit
6 feet saps our humanity
Blocks energy and sanity
Come on, they banned singing in a church
They can't stop us from worshipping
From creating and flourishing
Nor can they remove love from our vocab
We're human beings
Soft squishy things
We're guided by the Godhead up above
So take our festivals and shows
Take restaurants and shops for clothes
Take our bodies, but you cannot have our souls

Sunday, August 16, 2020

Heavily Edited

Heavily edited
Withdraw, retract, reverse
Infinitely debited
Conceal, redact, submerge
I chose to shut my chakras down
When the world went on offense
My smile became a perma-frown
In efforts at defense
I'm trying to let the light in now
I've been down so Goddamn long
I wish for you to show me how
I want to sing my song
I'm filling up a holey bucket
I'm tanning in the dark
I'm sleeping 'neath a wet blanket
I'm gunning it in park
I only speak now psychically
We conversate in dreams
Connecting telepathically
If our guides do deem
A muted Sagittarius
attempting to make fire
A bound and caged Aquarius
A Scorpio in mire
Please help me untie these knots
Remove these swords from me
Convert from bad to good these thoughts
Happy ever afterly

Remedial at Vegetables

Remedial at vegetables
Unfit to clean a house
Completely undomestical
I just don't know what to do with myself
There's only brush across the street
The occasional freight train
No one sees me dancing gothically
Through my dirty window pane
Trevor Something, something
He's my digital husband
We make vaporwave in his basement
Or so that's what I pretend
Doordashing Wienerschnitzel
The driver refers to me as dude
I wish I hadn't tipped his ass
That's hella fucking rude
This poem is not too thematic
I guess I apologize
Just feeling somewhat chromatic
Merely a day in the life
Now the sun descends again
What have I done this day?
Play make-believe and dwell within
My world's in retrograde

Saturday, August 15, 2020

Cognitive Astrology

Sedated cow or psychosis
Insomnia v. hypnosis
Weep at work or sleep by 8:00
Medicate or stay awake
Who told me I shouldn't feel?
At what point did I cease to deal?
So some boyfriend went away
No one said that he would stay
Okay so I am OCD
Obsess, compulse, redo, repeat
The answer's not in Lexapro
Or so the last decade has shown
Perhaps I'm just from Mercury
This is all astrology
Stars and spirituality
Neptune skews reality
A misaligned chakra or 7
A torn aura open to Heaven
I'll patch it up with prayer and seeking
Searching, learning, hoping, dreaming
Paint new skies upon my ceiling
Write down words which lead to healing
Wake each morn and face the music
I have faith that I won't lose it

Thursday, August 13, 2020

Patrick & Courtney

Patrick is Piscerian
Courtney, a Cancer
Brother sister water signs
Generation Z undines
Electric fish illuminates
With lightning he communicates
Snow crab safe on nearby shores
Pinching, snapping, evermore
Neptune's trident stirring storms
Arrive at beach in Luna's arms
Waves dissolving in the sand
Sea creatures wash up on land
Though they've shed their scales and claws
The life aquatic sometimes calls
Walking Earth with briny powers
Taking 90 minute showers
Dreamy, tidal, sentimental
Atlanteans turned occidental
Ocean sprites now elementals
Terrestrials: please do be gentle

Uranus Trine Mars

A magician, a technician
'cause Uranus trines my Mars
A musician, a physician
of keyboards and of guitars
Wielding power, taking action
Manifesting from the stars
Wire, cable, periodic table
Plutonium, electric cars
Sparking, shocking, I'm unlocking
Who you are and what you do
I don't practice Santeria
Not to worry, no voodoo
Moving, touring, you're exploring
Corners of this universe
Mixing metals, pressing pedals
Creating rhythm, writing verse
I'm not patient, but persistent
Plugging in and turning on
Flipping switches, changing fuses
Casting light on what went wrong

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Satan and Bad Aliens

Satan and bad aliens
Ruling Earth with iron fists
So annoying, life destroying
Why did I sign up for this?
Spiritual warfare, maybe
How it makes me miss the 80's 
What I wouldn't give
to be 0 through 9 again
Cabbage Patch Kids, Teddy Ruxpins
Popples, GloWorms and Van Halen
Mr. Rogers, Cyndi Lauper
This is Thriller, Get to the choppa!
Suppose evil was there too
in George Bush Sr. and crew
We live in a world we did not make
Nothing new under the sun
Until they take away our guns
Sew our mouths shut, Handmaid's Tale
Six feet under, see through the veil?
It's thinning out, you only have to look
Raise up your head, open your eyes
Tune your antennae to the skies
Ask for courage, ask for strength
Pray for knowledge, then give thanks
Take off your pants and jacket
Take your protein pills and helmet
Get up, stand up, for your rights
We can do this, we can take 'em
We're God's children, not forsaken

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Grand Trine

Gorgeous soul in your expression
From inception through the womb 
Always honoring your fire sun 
Swimming with your water moon
What you speak is what you're thinking
What you do is what you want 
No perversion, no diversion 
Nothing underneath to haunt
Conceive and then construct things
Erect each vision one by one 
Music, lovers, Saturn's rings
Your work here is never done 
Ascend and heal and radiate 
From a spark, a thousand songs 
Smile and shift and cocreate 
You will right a million wrongs 
Your lasso circles all around 
It has caught me in your spell 
I know I'm not the only one 
And so it's just as well 
I watch you from the sidelines
In the thicket and the thorns
As you effortlessly easily 
Take this life by storm 
It's okay, I'm catching up 
I have a lot to learn
but I've left a light on for us 
Here within my heart, it burns

River Park

Toyota Camrys 
Full of families 
Driving down my street
Dads and toddlers
Moms and daughters
Walking by each eve
Pregnant ladies
Dogs and babies
Tricycles, grade school
Babysitting, blanket-knitting
Birthday parties by the pool
Me, I'm single
Eating Pringles
Watering my lawn
Nodding, smiling
All the while I
Wish I could play along
I should not covet
My life, I love it
Right? I ask myself
2 kitties, candles
Sundresses, sandals 
And yes, I have my health

Thursday, August 6, 2020

Scorpion

You nasty fucking scorpion
You wicked fucking witch
Why the hell did you get married?
Why the fuck did you have kids?
You're mean, you sting, you've hidden things
You chose not to protect
To this day, you deny everything
to every single life you've wrecked
I wake up nights and hate you
because I cannot take control
You have burrowed in my psyche
You have warped my fucking soul
No prayer, nor pill, nor therapy
has done me any good 
I've accepted responsibility 
as best I fucking could
And yet here I am at 38 
awake at 2:00 AM
by a nightmare situation
playing out without an end
Fuck you and your abandonment 
Fuck you and your judgement
Fuck me and my decision
to perpetuate this long descent 
Worthless, wasted, languishing 
On autopilot at this point
Only counting down the hours
til I get to blow this joint
By this joint, I mean this planet 
on which I've failed to ascend
I never want to come back down here
Least of all with you again

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Blue Jay

Blue Jay in the sky, on a wire, standing by
Were you sent here by a guy - 
remotely viewing through your eyes?
What is it that he has to say?
What is this missive you convey?
Were you sent from outer space?
Represent a martian race?
From the shores of Waikiki?
Do you have a lei for me?
Paris, France, bonjour, oui oui
Kawaii, Japan, Hello Kitty
Now we meet in this backyard
Virgos sent here from the stars
Gazing up and looking down
Message greeted with a frown
Understand you, I do not
Now it's hot and I'm distraught
Close my journal, pack it up
Back to day job, back to rut
Drop a feather as you go
I put it to my lips and blow
Close my eyes and make a wish
When you return, you take me with

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Jupiter

I was meant to have a daughter
She would be called Jupiter
But the sun's rescinding farther
And as it goes, its taking her
I still see her in the ether
And I hear her in the breeze
I can feel her in my heartspace
But in this life, I'm on my knees
I cry out to her, "I'm sorry,"
Apologize a thousand times
I am catatonic, paralyzed
Bereft of all but rhymes
I cannot move to make her
Cannot bring her to this sphere
Cannot rise to meet her father
Cannot seem to make him hear 
I pray to God each evening
From the shower, then my bed
Please release me from this movie
Looping always in my head
A Disney princess ending
Do I see inside my dreams
Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella
Amy Adams with Dempsey
Spanish Castle Magic
We dwell high up in the sky
We come down to visit mortals
Jupiter, and you, and I
I know that I agreed to this
I just need strength to see
All I drew up in the heavens...
Can you help me make it be?

Saturday, August 1, 2020

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, alchemist
Electric body lyricist 
Leo sun with Pisces moon
Fire starter, lover's swoon
Majestic mane and lion's roar
Storyteller, ancient lore
Healer of the earth and soil
Tied to you by mortal coil
From the stars and winding down
Promise that I'm coming round
Spirit speaking through a smile
Remember though it's been a while
Tones of home and love with child
Imagination running wild
Making music, writing song 
Singing, strumming, hum along
Through grace of God, by walk of life
Courting, wedding, husband/wife