Suicidal Bath Water

Kitty cat

Don't play in that

It's suicidal bath water 

If only it

Absorbed this shit

I would have come out cleaner 

Forgive me I

Can't see the sky

If God is sending something 

I cannot hear 

Nor think too clear

It's just what's perfunctory 

Move mouth to eat

To swallow drink

Use legs to walk to bed with

Lay down and I

Hope that I'll die

Then this won't all start over

I'm Sorry

I woke wanting to say to you
Thank you for what we journeyed through
Release you energetically
From heart by pen, poetically 
I know I warned you way back when
As I'm required with each of them
That I would write about you to the world
It's just how I communicate
For lack of something intimate
Was cross-watching Aquarius
She said that I'm the piece of shit

That's not how I intended it

I have a Libra stellium

Translates to bipolar problem
Often think myself a victim
I wish for happiness for you

For peace and serenity too

You'll share that laugh and smile with one
Who's kind to you and to your son
I'll cut this cord and set you free
For we could just not make us be
But please, look at our time fondly

I will too

Ash Dance

I walk up to the corner market
Because I won't wear masks in Target
This white ash drifting all around
Is somewhat Edward Scissorhands
If Danny Elfman scored for me
How beautiful my life would be
I put my arms up like Ms. Ryder
Before I go and buy a lighter
Imagine this was Burton's world
If only I was Johnny's girl
But then again he couldn't hold her
Saddest end to movie ever

Synastry or Not

Push reset, recalibrate
Create from different colored space
See from separate point of view
Embark on journey without you
I simply do not have the time
To wait for masculine divine
Could get hit by a bus and die
Before he decides to come by
Fool card says take leap of faith
Does not say stay and stagnate
Fuck these 10 swords in my back
My rep as a huge sadsack
Manic depression, up and down
Back and forth and round and round
Motivated, fueled, inspired
Just as quickly hopeless, tired
I'll take my 2 cats to the ocean
Put these blueprints into motion
Leave behind me civil service
I have no choice now but to do this
Outside influence made me sick
Like learning my relationships
Were methods of control and punishment
Do not give me your opinions
Satan's serpents, helpers, minions
Turned your back on our synastry
None the less, I write my history

Leo Season

Today feels Armageddon-like
Ashes coat my car and bike
Smoke smell settles in my hair
Hazy orange colors the air
Flames jumping the freeways fast
Dead discolored yellow grass
Who set fire to planet Earth?
I thought I would get there first

Meh

I don't care who thinks I'm pretty

Smart, creative, funny, witty

Every night I fall asleep

Asking God to come get me

Look out my window wondering

Where I'm from, why did I leave

A host here for parasites 

Steal my essence, drain my life

Broken incandescent light

Doing just what others like

Sitting down and signing in

Report for duty, "no symptoms"

First half of Wizard of Oz

Missing meaning, purposes, cause

No insulation, exposed wiring

Forever pissed off, sad and crying 

Born this way and tired of trying 

Mostly Dead Musicians

Trent Reznor's head is like a hole
Layne Staley was down in one
Her name tattoos Jon Crosby's soul
Instant karma got John Lennon
Did Elliott really stab himself?
Did Kurt put that gun in his mouth?
I digress, this is not where I was going
I wonder, do you speculate
Compose, arrange, and dedicate
Lyrics and music to our memory
Is it true you never did love me?
This was all malefic shittery
You approached me just to put me in my place
Pay me back for previous wrongs
Lure me in with pretty songs
Place me in a box and throw away the key
How incredibly depressing
To think it was karmic lessons
Remember when you played All I Want?
I wanted that for us too
Was I mistaken thinking you
Were pure of heart, of mind, of soul
That we'd help each other grow
I guess so
Because now I walk the line alone

4th House Pisces

Why the hell did I eat that? 
It's just going to make me fat
Solar, sacral, or root trauma?
4th house Pisces substance drama?
I kicked my vodka addictions
Dabbled in the 12 traditions
Step aerobics every morning
Meditation shortly following
Set intentions at moon circles
Swear I'll conquer all these hurdles
Eschewed toxicity in men
Curbed compulsive spending, then
Replaced orange Fanta with water
Still with cheese and bread I falter
Pin bikinis in Ibiza
Yet next day I order pizza
I don't like this constant battle
Of with which I have been saddled
Asking who in Heaven listens 
Please assist with this affliction

Yo & Squeakers

I love you, Yo and Squeakers
You're my valentines with fuzz
You're the Junos to my Bleeker
Sherrif Woodys to my Buzz
Eat a metric ton of Meow Mix
Linger in the pan too much
And a little masochistic
When you're playing, but best buds
So absorbent when I'm crying
Always listen as I bitch
Aid with tarot cards and scrying
The familiars to my witch
We go back to ancient Egypt 
Keepers of the underworld
Mummies now in pharaoh's crypt
Today just pets and girl
You both protect me spiritually
Like a gargoyle on each side
Many thank yous for accompanying me
In every earthly life

Otherwordly Hello

Psychic dispatch operatress
Astral plane tiki bar waitress
Like Jupiter sent lightning down
Echo distracted Zeus with sound
An esoteric carrier pigeon
Supernatural slide in DM
Pegasus Pony Express
Loch Ness Monster UPS
Heart Shaped Box to radio
It's all I can do, Candy-o

Luciferian Summer

"That's cute that you're contributing,"
My neighbor to her boyfriend screams
The clink of an engagement ring hits porch
We're all on edge, it's so damn hot
One hundred plus all month of Aug
Our sun feels like an enemy sometimes
I stop the watering of lawn
It doesn't care, it's too far gone
Some days I don't think that I'm long behind
I go back in and take caffeine
So fucking sick of quarantine
A misnomer on purpose, we're not sick
These masks are Luciferian
The gov, Authoritarian
I just want in a grocery store for fruit
6 feet saps our humanity
Blocks energy and sanity
Come on, they banned singing in a church
They can't stop us from worshipping
From creating and flourishing
Nor can they remove love from our vocab
We're human beings
Soft squishy things
We're guided by the Godhead up above
So take our festivals and shows
Take restaurants and shops for clothes
Take our bodies, but you cannot have our souls